Today I've been reading authors with clear strong voices. I admire them. Both how they use their own voices and encourage others to do so. Why am I reading others voices, I asked myself from somewhere in the back of the clutter in my head. Why aren't I finding or speaking my own voice?
Deep soul sigh.
Okay, it's true. I can't deny you, voice. Or me, I guess I should say. So voice, what do you want to say?
Simple. I have one message for you. For us. Stop saying no when we want to say yes. Stop saying yes when we want to say no. Your fear of disappointing is paralyzing you. Your fear of being seen as incompetent, a fraud, an imposter, irrelevant has you running around saying yes to everything and you are making us sick. Literally sick. We haven't been able to get out of bed for days. Coughing. Tired. Body pushed beyond limits. Just say, "No, I can't make that trip." "Sorry, that report will be much later than we had hoped." "No, I can't finish that review. I thought I could." People may be mad, disappointed, inconvenienced. They may think bad thoughts about us, write a cranky email, not give us future business. All of this is okay. We'll learn. Get better at saying no. Not get all cluttered up and cornered like this in the future. Listen, just because people want a piece of us does not mean we have to say yes. Do you hear me? I'm going to repeat it. Just because people want a piece of us does not mean we have to say yes. Look at the photo above. The clarity, the calm. We're seeking that. We need some of that every day. That's where the magic and the connections happen.
Okay, that was clear. From me to me. Stop saying yes when I want to say no and vice versa. The icky feeling in the short run will pay off in the long run. Easier said than done BUT something has to change in this new year. I'm sick of overpromising and then living in scarcity mode. No more scarcity mode.